He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
by Freya-Kendra
Summary: Holding on seems impossible. But letting go is unthinkable.


He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

by Freya-Kendra

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Summary: Sometimes holding on can seem like an insurmountable task. But letting go is not an option. Written to the strains of the song by the same name.

Disclaimer: Both the song and the characters are borrowed for the sake of entertainment. No financial gains have been or ever will be made from this story.

Notes: Excerpts from the song written by B. Scott and B. Russell.

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**He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother**

_by Freya-Kendra_

* * *

_The road is long_

_With many a winding turn_

_That leads us to who knows where_

_Who knows when_

_But I'm strong_

_Strong enough to carry him_

_He ain't heavy, he's my brother_

* * *

"Come on, Jim, don't give up on me now!"

_Sandburg?_ Jim struggled to focus his vision. Everything around him was gray. It was as though there was nothing else out there, nothing to see. He was drowning in an ocean of nothing. Drowning....

"You can do this, Jim! Come on!"

_Sandburg? What's wrong? Why are you shouting?_

"Come on, man! You've been in tighter spots than this."

Drowning? No, he was floating - floating in the fog of a gray, misty morning. He shivered.

"That's it, Jim! Come on. Come _on_!"

_Chief? Why do you sound so angry?_ He shivered again. It was damp. No; more than damp. Wet. He tried to take a deep breath, but the air was thick. He choked and started coughing.

"Come on, Jim! You've gotta stay with me here!"

_Sandburg?_ When the spasms passed, he tried once more to peer through that gray, murky fog. Blair's image swam into view. His hair was wet, dripping. Thick, dark curls were plastered against a face shrouded in desperation.

"That's it," the image said more softly. "Try to focus on me, Jim. Just me. Focus on me."

The image bobbed up and down before him, rising and falling with each foggy wave. Yet after each rise, the rain beat him down again.

"Sandburg? What happened?"

Blair closed his eyes briefly. He seemed ready to cry. "You almost drowned, man. The explosion knocked you out. Then I couldn't find you." He took a deep, shaky breath. "But it's good. We're good. We just need to hang on until the coast guard gets here. You can do that for me, right? Just hang on a little while longer, okay?"

Sandburg's image faded back into the fog. He's voice drifted far into the distance.

"Look alive, soldier!" The new voice was stronger, familiar.

_Colonel?_ Somehow Jim was back in the Rangers. He was on night maneuvers. But he couldn't remember the objective.

"Hold position until I give the order."

_What order, sir?_ He was treading water. No. He was in the water, but he wasn't moving. Someone else was supporting him.

"Jim? Come on, Jim!"

"Sandburg?"

"God, Jim! You've gotta stop doing that! Stay with me, do you hear me?" Blair's voice was hoarse.

"How'd you get here?"

"The same as you, partner. Right place, wrong time. It seems to be a habit of mine."

"Juggling too many dates."

"What?"

"That's a bad habit you have."

Sandburg shook with laughter. Funny how it made Jim shake, too. But when the laughter stopped, the shaking didn't.

"You okay, Chief?"

"Hey Jim, remember that time on the oil rig?" Blair's voice was growing softer. "Remember how you swam out to that freighter? Remember that?"

"I remember."

"Remember s-swimming."

_Chief? Your voice sounds strange._

"You're k-kicking your feet in the water. Y-you're swimming. C-can you do that for me now?"

_Chief?_

"C-can you swim to the freighter for me?"

Jim felt his feet moving in the water. He couldn't tell if he was going anywhere, but he could feel his legs moving. Blair's arm was still around him. "You swimming too, Chief?"

"I'm t-trying, man." Blair's breath hot in Jim's ear, his voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. "I'm trying."

* * *

_So on we go_

_His welfare is my concern_

_No burden is he to bear_

_We'll get there_

_For I know_

_He would not encumber me_

_He ain't heavy, he's my brother_

* * *

"God, no! Jim? Please, man!"

_Was Sandburg crying now?_

"I n-need you to k-keep trying, Jim. C-come on. I need you, man."

Jim took a breath of water. He pushed himself to the surface, and coughed out the unwelcome fluid. "Chief?"

"J-jim? I c-can't...."

Sandburg's shaking had grown so severe it started to loosen his grip from around Jim's chest.

"Chief?"

"J-just a little longer, J-jim. Almos... Almost there."

Jim opened his eyes to a burst of blinding light that brought back confused memories of a boat exploding. They'd been undercover, posing as buyers and waiting for a shipment of drugs. Something went wrong.

Sandburg's arm seemed to convulse, jerking Jim back to the surface yet again. "Al-almos' there."

A strong wind thrashed at the water around them. Blair's hold on him was severed. Without the constant feel of his partner's weight around him, Jim felt isolated, adrift. He dared another look, squinting into the glare just in time to watch Sandburg's face go under the water. He tried to reach toward him, but someone else grabbed Jim from behind, pulling him away -- far away. There was nothing he could do.

The gray fog turned black.

* * *

_If I'm laden at all_

_I'm laden with sadness_

_That everyone's heart_

_Isn't filled with the gladness_

_Of love for one another_

* * *

"Chief?" Jim opened his eyes to the glare once more. He tried to break out of someone's hold. When a hand pushed him gently back into the cushions beneath him, he realized the only things that bound him were the warm covers of a hospital bed and the IV tube in his arm.

"Take it easy, Jim," Simon's voice urged. "You're okay."

The water was gone. The cold, the shaking, it was all gone. So was Blair.

"Captain? Where's Sandburg?"

He didn't like the look on Simon's face, or the extended pause before his answer. "He's back in surgery. Some problems with internal bleeding."

Jim tried again to get out of bed. But Simon kept a firm hand on his shoulder. "Your place is here, Jim. Taggart will bring us word as soon as he can. You know you can't help by putting your own health at risk."

"That's exactly what Sandburg did, sir. He saved my life out there. I don't think I had one coherent moment the entire time. But I remember enough to know if it hadn't been for him talking to me and holding me up...."

Simon nodded. "That's pretty much how we had it figured, after piecing together what the rescue divers had to say and the doc's diagnosis of that head injury of yours." He shook his head, smiling. "Sandburg's stronger than he looks, that's for sure. I didn't know he had it in him."

"I never doubted it, sir."

"No." Simon gave him a serious look. "No, I'm sure you didn't."

"Hey, Jim!" Taggart called cheerfully from the doorway. "It's good to see you back!"

But Jim wasn't ready for lighthearted greetings. "Sandburg?"

"Doc said he'll be fine. The surgery went well. He should be out of recovery in about an hour. You know, it's a time like this that makes me think that kid's stubbornness can really pay off."

"More than you know, Taggart," Jim answered as he relaxed into his pillow. "More than you know."

* * *

_It's a long, long road_

_From which there is no return_

_While we're on the way to there_

_Why not share?_

_And the load_

_Doesn't weigh me down at all_

_He ain't heavy, he's my brother_

* * *

Glad to be going home despite the seemingly permanent headache, Jim's movements were slow, exaggerated as he finished tucking in his shirt and buckling his belt. There was only one thing he regretted about leaving. Sandburg would not be joining him.

After signing the necessary paperwork, he made his way down the hall to the room he'd pretty much adopted as his own, though something within the hospital administration's red tape had consistently refused to make it official. Still, he didn't go in right away. Instead, he stood in the doorway for a moment, discomfited to see how gaunt his partner looked. Blair could sure use a real meat and potatoes kind of meal. He'd been too long sucking nutrients out of IV tubes.

"Hey, Jim," Sandburg called out groggily. "They finally sprung you?"

"Yeah," He answered with a sheepish smile as he approached the bed. "I hear you'll be out soon, too."

"Not soon enough. These nurses seem to think I'm a dart board."

"You sure they're not former girlfriends?"

"Now that you mention it...." Sandburg chuckled, and then cringed in pain. "Oh, man. Don't do that to me."

Jim squeezed his partner's shoulder. "Hang in there just in a little longer. You're almost there."

Blair looked up at him curiously.

"Sound familiar?"

"Yeah. A real deja-vous. How much do you remember?"

"Enough. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for those words of yours."

"You know I wasn't about to let you go."

"Yeah. I know. And it works both ways." He gave another gentle squeeze until he could sense Blair's heart rate beginning to slow. "Feel better?"

Sandburg sighed, visibly relaxing. "Yeah. Thanks, Jim."

"Thank me tomorrow, when I bring in my Three Stooges tapes."

"Oh, no. No, no, no. You wouldn't."

"They say laughter is the best medicine." Jim gave Blair's arm a soft pat and started back toward the door.

"No way, man. You're not serious. Jim?"

"Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk," Jim ended with a light tap on the doorframe as he headed into the hall.

"Jim?" He could hear Sandburg calling behind him. "Jim?"

_Just a little longer, Chief. You're almost there_. Jim smiled, more confident than ever in this unique and special partnership.

- The End -


End file.
